If you just want to read the proposition and skip the rant, scroll right on down to the bottom. It's the last P.S.

~~~*** (w00t! Tildes and stars!)


I, like pretty much EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVER, was caught up in Twilight mania...



... for, like, two days...



I waited long enough to read them so that I could all four (What, there's gonna be a fifth!? SRSLY?!) at once.



... I got halfway through three. That's how much it pissed me off.



And it's not just the fangirls. It pisses me off because what Edward did to Jacob and Bella, my ex-best friend's CURRENT HUSBAND(Codename: Repo Churchman Douchefag) did to her (I can't think of a codename that will do her justice, so she'll simply be know as "The Bitch.")and her XBF Eric (codename: Eric.)(What? He lives in Florida now, he's not gonna read this.) Talk about art (IF it can EVEN be called that.) imitating life.

So, yeah. That's my problem with it. And I can only how that The Bitch's problems with her lady bits renders her sterile so we don't have have a freak, mutant baby running around. (Oops, spoilers! BELLAISAFREAKOFNATURELIKEOCTO-MOM!)

Now, I understand the confusion that may or may not be affecting most of you. You're probably thinking, but Twilight came out so long ago, why rant now? Well, I'll tell you why.

They're making the second one. Like, right now.

I'mma leave it at that, but suffice it to say that if I hear one more person squeal about it, I'mma snap and disembowel them. You've been warned.

(P.S. - I was on Team JACOB! Ha!)
(P.P.S. - Edward was ugly in the movie!)
(P.P.P.S. - I'm righting a fantasy, satirical novel about werewolves in a steampunk setting that I plan on dedicating to Stephanie Meyer and her hordes of fan drones. Any takers on being a beta/ass kicker to get me to actually translate the plot I have worked out from my brain to paper?)